A Decade Worth Writing About

Today marks my tenth wedding anniversary. 

According to many gift giving guides, ten years of marriage would entitle me to something tin or aluminum.  Although shiny and silver, neither appear to the years gone past.  My sister told me I deserved a gold metal.  Oh no dear sister, gold is for those celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary.  I’ve a long ways yet to go….

As anniversaries come and go, none are quite so special as reaching your tenth. Five years go by and then before you know it–a decade of building a relationship.  Marriage is after all a working relationship.  One that over time takes us through many stages, just like the talent of writing, but without all the revisions.

If I had only but a few words in which to describe my marriage I would say, “Committment, joy, hardship, faithfulness, and a whole lot of love.” For as the years have past and we have traveled down the curving, narrowing, and long path of marriage, we have been but passengers in the back seat of God’s taxi. 

Upon the day of my wedding a good friend once said, “Remember, what ever you’re going through – your best friend is there along with you.”  She was referring to my husband. 

To which I say to him, “Ten years are a splash on the canvas in our marriage. Each drip, swipe, and color representing a different stage, level, and memory.  I look forward to the years to come and the masterpiece yet unfinished.”

For now, these three things remain: faith, hope and love. The greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

I love you, Chad Lower. Thank you for opening the door and allowing me to get in the backseat. Thank you for the three children this decade of marriage has brought us, and for being my number one fan.

As you read this, our family is currently preparing for our annual Memorial Day camping trip… One tradition that we hope our children will carry on to their children.  Theirs nothing like camping and family time to celebrate the end of one decade and the beginning of the next.

Published in: on May 28, 2010 at 3:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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Cinderella Slippers

Last weekend, I headed out with my sisters for our annual spring shopping trip to a local mall. I enjoy these rare moments when I get to spend time with my sisters. It’s always a treat – in more ways than one.

For this particular shopping trip I left the kids to spend time with Grandma, still in their pajamas and watching cartoons.

We started out at Kohl’s where my older sister couldn’t decide on a dress, and didn’t want to try it on. So there I was standing in the middle of the women’s section wearing this dress over top of my faded jeans and chocolate-brown shirt. The flare of the bright gold and orange of the dress didn’t suit me, but would have looked lovely on my sister. Sigh, but we hung it back up and moved on.

During the whole trip, I had one purpose  – to find a pair of shoes to match my dress for this year’s RWA (Romance Writers’ of America) national conference this summer.  The shoes, which my daughters refer to as my “Cinderella Slippers” are a perfect match with their silver straps, glitter rhinestone, and clear molding around the toe. Thus, earning the name, “Cinderella Slippers”.

Cinderella Slippers

As enchanting as Cinderella is, I found something even more romantic and enchanting while standing in line at a shoe store in the mall to purchase my Cinderella slippers. I met a man named Jeremy.

Jeremy stood in the line in front of me, where after participating in a conversation of gift planning for a the popcorn, couch snuggling, movie lover, I came to find out how Jeremy proposed to his fiance’.  I wrote it down, and yes, you probably see it popping up in the current manuscript I’m working on, even my sisters agreed it was romantic indeed.

For you see, Jeremy left his girlfriend a trail of chocolate kisses from the front door up to the bathroom of her home, where as she entered the bathroom a dozen red roses were hung from the shower curtain. On a note he wrote, “Now that I have kissed the ground of which you walk on and showered you with roses, will you marry me?”

Thank you, Jeremy, for inspiring the heart of an inspirational writer.

I took my Cinderella slippers and headed for my favorite eating establishment – Applebees. The oriental salad was excellent, as well as the sampler platter which I shared with my sisters.

It was a long and productive trip, and even though I am anxious to wear my Cinderella slippers this summer in Nashville, I will never forget my trip to the shoe store.

Published in: on April 23, 2010 at 10:21 pm  Comments (1)  
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Inspiring Romance #27 – Appreciate Him

Each year I listen to those around me grumble about what they didn’t get on Valentine’s Day.

Even before I sat down to write this post today I went about a little research and came across and article that instead of listing the most romantic things you could, it listed the worst things that couples did on Valentine’s Day. After reading the article, I got confused.

It seemed the author, must not have ever had a day where they felt appreciated, let alone loved. According to the article the worst thing you could do was go out to dinner. Reasons that were listed included bad food, over crowded establishment, and the expense of a disaster waiting to happen.

You would think that staying home would be better than going out, but again the article says not.

Along with flowers, chocolate, and holiday cards, nothing seemed to be the RIGHT thing to do in order to properly celebrate this special day. After all, what is there to do right?

Being a romantic at heart, I had to sit and give all these things great thought. As I turned to my husband, he said to me, “what should it matter? If you show love everyday, then Valentine’s day has no more special meaning tomorrow than it does the next day to those who show their affection.”

So surprise him, today and everyday.

Appreciate him.

Don’t harp, hound, or whine when he first gets home. Prepare him a meal and sit down with him at the table. Ask him how his day went and be his #1 fan. Let him put his feet up, and curl up beside him. Remember when your mad and in the midst of an argument that in God’s eyes he is one with you.

Tell him you love him, often and without doubt, even when it seems he’s not listening to you – he probably is. Compliment him on all the good things you like, the services he performs around the house, and how he deals with the rest of the family.

Simply appreciate the one you love this day and everyday.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Published in: on February 13, 2010 at 2:33 am  Leave a Comment  

Inspiring Romance #26- A Box Full of Kisses

A few months ago, during the holiday season I heard a story shared one Sunday morning.

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight. He became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Never the less, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.”

He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, “Don’t you know when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty, I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family, or God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

With Valentines’ day drawing near, why not exchange that box of chocolates for a box full of kisses, and give it to that special someone you hold dear. Maybe they too will keep their box near and take out an imaginary kiss when they are feeling discouraged.

Published in: on February 5, 2010 at 8:05 pm  Comments (2)  
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Inspiring Romance #24- Compliments Count

Compliments don’t come our way quite as often as we’d like. 

You can say, “I love you” almost every time you see someone, but a compliment says you’ve gone out of your way to find something especially special about another person to comment about it. 

A compliment need not always be about someone’s appearance.  People also like to hear compliments about their work, humor, talents, and their intentions.

Today, compliment the one you love.  This not only helps affirm the bound of your relationship, but sprouts new conversations and heartfelt smiles.

Some compliments you may want to consider giving the one you love:

  • the way they always make you laugh
  • their ability as a spouse
  • their ability as a parent
  • the outcome of a task or project they completed
  • their genuine concern for others
  • their kindness
  • their hospitality to others
  • their cooking
  • the way they always smile
  • the way they react to a situation
  • how they are always there when you need them

When you give a compliment, give it in sincerity.  Sometimes the tone of our voice says more than the words from our mouths.   In all your relationships with the people you love, be encouraging and accepting of their return praise. 

How will you complement your love one today?

Published in: on January 8, 2010 at 10:15 am  Leave a Comment  
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Inspiring Romance #22 – Build a Gingerbread House

 Inspring romance can easily get pushed to the bottom of your Christmas list during the holidays.  It is easy to lose track of one another in the hussle and bussle as you shop, wrap, and decorate for the upcoming days. But while you’re out looking for the perfect gift for that special someone, it’s a good idea to touch base with your beloved often.

A relationship is like a gingerbread house, you have to work to keep it together - piece by piece.

As you can see by the photo (gingerbread houses my husband and I put together with our two youngest) that building a gingerbread house doesn’t have to be perfect.  Neither does our relationships.

This evening gather up some graham crackers, icing, and search the kitchen for cereal, twizzlers, gum drops, m&m’s, smarties, and other candies to decorate your gingerbread house.

Sit down together and start building a gingerbread house from foundation up.  While you’re hard at work, take time to discuss the expectations of your current home, future home, or dream home.  It’s okay to dream, but try not to complain, but to find the positives in building both your gingerbread house and your relationship.

So now that you’ve seen our little gingerbread houses, how did your’s come out?

Published in: on December 18, 2009 at 10:56 am  Leave a Comment  
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Inspiring Romance #21 – Share a Christmas Memory

The spirit of holidays have a way of lifting our hearts and our spirits.  This evening curl up on the sofa, grab a soft comfy blanket, and over a plate of cookies and mugs of hot chocolate, share your favorite Christmas memories.

I remember when I was six-year-old, Santa brought me a super Pound Puppy. At six, the plush puppy was huge! Now, as an adult I still find that plush puppy the perfect size for cuddling up with at night with my spouse’s arms wrapped around me.

When I asked my beloved what his favorite Christmas memory was, he replied,” the first Christmas we were married.”

What’s your favorite memory?

Published in: on December 5, 2009 at 1:53 am  Comments (1)  

Inspiring Romance #19 – Carve Him a Pumpkin

hpumpThe very first time I ever went to my husband’s hometown while we were dating, he took me to a local pumpkin patch.  It was cold and muddy, from the rain that morning, and the wind blew a chill up our backs.  But we walked, hand in hand, down along the rows of the pumpkin patch searching for that perfect pumpkin in which we could carve.

Once we found that pumpkin, we took it back to his mother’s place, cut a circle in the top and proceeded to scoop out the seeds together.  He gave me the honor of carving our pumpkin, and I put our names in it.  As our afternoon turned to evening, we put light inside to shine.  Eventhough, that light and that pumpkin would never last as long as our relationship, it was nice to lean back against him and watch our names flicker in the dark as we mused about what we’d carve in our pumpkin next year.

With halloween so close, and pumpkins in abundance, why not carve him a pumpkin tonight and make a memory of your own?

Published in: on October 30, 2009 at 11:17 am  Leave a Comment  
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Two Shall Become One

On the day of my wedding, family members gathered from near and far.  As I stood face to face with my handsome groom, the pastor of our church recited this verse from Mark 10:7-9, ” For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

My wedding day flew by in a smear of images and events.  But the one thing about that day that stands out amongst all the rest, is the moment I held his hand in mine, looked into his deep blue eyes and said, “I,  Susan, take you Chad, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”

Then I slid a simple gold band around his finger, and he squeezed my hand. 

As we turned and faced the expectant faces of those sitting in the church pews, I knew from that moment forward, I’d never be the same person again.  Applause came from the guests, and even though the pastor pronounced us Mr & Mrs. Flowers (instead of Mr. & Mrs. Lower) it didn’t matter.  “For what God as joined together, let no man separate.”

Published in: on October 26, 2009 at 12:48 am  Leave a Comment  
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If You Could See What I See

One of the greatest things about love is how it empowers us,by God’s grace, to look at another person and see beyond their physical limitations and into their heart. 

That’s probably why I love the song, “If You Could See What I See ” so much.  My husband chose it for our wedding, and has been ever since our special song.   If you have never heard this song, by Geoff Moore and The Distance, I encourage you to listen to the song and read the lyrics.  I’ve listed them below.

all of my life
i have dreamed
that someday your love would find me
and i can’t believe you’re standing here

If beauty is

all in the eye
of the beholder then i
wish you could see
the love for you that lives in me

(Chorus)
And you would know you have my heart
If you could see,
that a treasure’s what you are
if you could see,
Created to be
the only one for me
If you could see

I know there are days
when you feel
so much less than ideal
wondering what i see in you

It’s all of the light
and the grace
your belief in me drives me to say
that i promise you
a faithful love, forever true

(Chorus)
if you could see…
then you’d understand
why i fall down to my knees
and i pray my love
will be worthy of
the One who gave His life
so that our love could be

if you could see
what i see(x2)

Created to be
The only one for me
If you could see
What i see

if beauty is all
in the eye
of the beholder then i
am beholding…
true beauty

Published in: on October 21, 2009 at 9:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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